I was having such a lovely day out with both toddler and baby at Crystal Palace Park. If you haven’t been then you should go; there’s so much to do in there for free with young children. The weather was great compared to last week’s thunder storms. No crying or whinging. It could have been the perfect day.
Until… Sat in the cafe; I felt the warm, bubbling sensation that is baby opening his bowels. I stared in absolute horror as the back of his T-shirt turned from white to bright yellow. It was literally all the way up to his neck.
“What the hell do I do with THIS in public? Leave the cafe, just leave!”
So I left with my chocolate covered toddler dangling out of the front of the pram and my bright yellow baby hanging over my shoulder. I know people were looking. I just tried not to make eye contact with anyone.
When we got to the toilets, I could have died. The was no way I could change my baby in there – it smelled like a sewer and looked even worse. Have you ever tried to change a baby who’s been dipped in poo, in the pram, in public, while trying to make sure your toddler doesn’t do a runner?
I was sweating, and the group of mums in their bare-foot, breastfeeding circle were staring at me like their kids don’t ever poo. (Don’t look at me!) It was one of the most flustering moments I have endured as a mother and it was about to get worse.
I’m halfway through cleaning baby when my daughter declares:
“Mummy, I need to poo.”
She starts squatting on the grass. NO FREAKIN’ WAY!
The only thing that saved this moment from being my last; was the glorious travel potty. If I wasn’t able to whip that thing out when I did, I would have been in double doo doo.
At this point I have one half naked baby in the pram with a carrier bag full of crap in my hand and a toddler sat at my feet, straining. One couple decides that the bench next to us is the perfect place to have romance (pair of creeps) and I notice another mum walking towards me (I thought she was going to offer her condolences or services). But no, she smiles and points to her belly and says:
“I’m about to have another one. What’s it like having TWO little ones?”
Bless her. She looked so happy and hopeful. So instead of going into one (thought I’d save that you guys), I told her:
“It’s great. But you might want to get a travel potty!”