4 Types Of Parents On The Underground

*I am absolutely not saying that all parents fit into these categories. Nor am I judging anyone. Just simply saying what I’ve seen whilst driving a train on the underground. Enjoy!*

1. The Hopeful Parents

A singular parent with a baby in a buggy, a toddler AND a f*cking suitcase! Usually found at the bottom of a set of stairs, wide-eyed. If you see one, approach slowly and offer assistance. They are hopeful that at least ONE person will see them and offer to help. When I am travelling in my uniform… that person is ALWAYS me. To be fair I would offer to help them regardless. But it’s funny how a uniform gives people the impression that I have the strength to carry 25kg in one hand and the front end of a buggy in the other… up a flight of stairs!

2. The Tourist Parents

Normally so busy taking pictures of the ‘Piccadilly Circus’ signage. Or papping the train driver with a DSLR camera and great big f*ck off flash; that they are blissfully unaware that their son has half of his body dangling over the platform edge, and that the train has had to apply an emergency brake. Totally oblivious to the fact that the (now temporarily blinded) driver is shouting at them. (maybe they’ll realise when they look back through their photos). People… keep an eye on your kids and not that I want to be photographed at work but at least turn off your damn flash.

3. The Parents In A Rush

They are in such a hurry that they are happy to throw themselves onto the train at the last-minute and leave their 4-year-old behind. They then proceed to try to smash the doors down. No need! I was watching your foolishness. *reopens doors*

These parents also work in the reverse. Happy to throw their 4-year-old into the closing doors and then stand there looking lost for a second before (you guessed it) trying to smash the doors down. Again… I’m watching you *coughs* fool.

4. The Cautious Parents

Out of the 4, these are the only parents whose actions I can sort of understand. They have their children GLUED to them. They walk in unison at a pace too slow to demonstrate. They are also so scared that something might go wrong that they WILL NOT get on the train. Even if I keep the doors open for an extra 40 seconds. The aren’t getting on, it’s too risky. Whatever, it’s cool at least you’re not parent type number 3.

What types of parents have you noticed on the Underground?

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