Kids say and do some funny, crazy sh*t. But it’s only funny because they are kids right? Because if I were to do as my daughter does (she’s almost 3), I’m pretty sure I’d find my self in trouble or very alone. I mean would you even talk to me let alone be my friend if I did these things?:
- Running around the house in front of your partner and thier friends with my knickers down. And I’m not drunk. I just think it’s totally appropriate to leave the toilet half way through my business and join in with the bants.
- Announcing that “my bum hurts!” to guests in my house before walking very stiffly to the toilet and holding my bum.
- Asking random strangers if they want to lick my lollipop. Literally holding it to their lips and saying “want to lick it?” eww that’s creepy.
- Putting my hand on my nan’s breasts in public and saying “I like your boobies”. (that is even weird for a child to do, I’m pretty sure she’s never witnessed this being done.)
- Shouting out “i’ve got dirty knickers!”. My daughter likes to say this… I don’t know why. She doesn’t even have dirty knickers when she says it. Maybe it’s her way of trying to kill me with embarrassment.
- Giving you my bogeys to hold. (hey… at least I don’t eat them.)
- Walking right in front of you. Stopping every few seconds to trip you up. Squeezing passed and climbing over you through doorways. Forever. Surely after a couple of years of telling me to walk NEXT TO YOU and to WAIT, you’d just want to give me a kick or something? *
- Spitting out the meal you just made for me, down my own chest because I don’t approve of the texture. And obviously expecting YOU to wipe it up and provide an alternative meal.
I mean I’d hate me if I acted like that! But when she does it… it’s OK. Actually some of it can be bloody hilarious, I have to hide sometimes so I can laugh without encouraging her.
But some of it can be excrucitaingly embarassing. I’m never embarrassed of her though, I get embarrased because I’m put on the spot in public to deal with this stuff. And while I do correct her behaviour, sometimes it seems pointless because SHE KNOWS. I think she actually does the above on purpose because she knows she’ll get more attention if she’s being a vile little troll**.
*With regard to number 7, I would never kick my child.
** Troll. Too harsh? I’m certain I’d be called worse if I acted like my daughter. Perhaps I should blow my snot onto your new top and see what you have to say then?
I’d love to hear what things your children say and do that YOU as an adult could never get away with.